‘Imagine that you love yourself just the way you are. You love your body just the way it is, and you love your emotions just the way they are. You know that you are perfect just as you are.’-Don Miguel Ruiz
As I grow older and gain more maturity, I have come to the realization that I want to live a successful and soulful life which means becoming a better leader, friend, and member of society.
But all these aspirations will not gain momentum unless I sincerely love myself for who I am and how I live my life.
Self love is a deep reflection of how you present yourself in the world.
Your daily behaviour is always a reflection of your deepest beliefs about yourself.
In the past I have found it difficult to go out into the world presenting a version of my best self with the highest level of mastery, because I was not happy or comfortable with myself and who I was.
This lack of acceptance affected my behaviour toward others, including my credibility and ability to influence.
What I have realized is that the doorway to success really does open inward.
If you are not comfortable with who you are on a deep level, it will minimize your impact in the outside world.
I coach many high performers who are entrepreneurial, smart, and driven.
- They own profitable businesses.
- Understand how to multiply their productivity.
- Network like superstars.
- Scale their fortunes.
- They volunteer and use their funds toward worthy causes.
Yet, there is something missing that is preventing inner joy, peace, and freedom because there is a hesitation to accept themselves fully.
This feeling eventually becomes overwhelming and takes over their spirit and their soul.
They start to tear down their successes and accomplishments because they hit an infliction point and start exhibiting self sabotaging behaviour.
- People Pleasers.
- Addicted to the wrong things.
- Fighting with significant others and friends.
- Impatient and complaining.
- Distracted with digital media.
- Shop uncontrollably.
These are huge acts of self sabotage and I’ve seen it play in myself and others over the years.
I believe this happens because we will never climb any higher than the way we see ourselves on the inside.
‘I want my fans to love themselves. It’s almost like I want to hypnotize them so when they hear my music they love themselves instantly.’-Lady Gaga
I have been to many Lady Gaga concerts over the years. I not only enjoy her music but believe in her message to her fans.
It is consistent and is about the importance of being good to yourself.
Her message is profound and impactful.
If you don’t feel you are deserving of beauty, prosperity, acclaim, and inner freedom…
You may feel like…
You are not enough.
On a personal level, I have always put professional development at the forefront.
I read books, enroll in seminars, hire coaches, and take an endless amount of courses to improve myself.
But something was missing.
I hit the point where my mind was full of great learnings and tools, but my heart was empty.
And so, I started exhibiting some of the behaviours mentioned earlier – becoming judgemental and extremely impatient with others and my perception of their intelligence and ambition.
I believe my past behaviours all stem from one thing …
A lack of self love.
But it’s easy to feel this way, especially in today’s world.
We live in a culture of comparison, instant gratification, and overindulgence.
We begin to question our skill sets, successes, appearance, and abilities.
What I have learned is that everything begins from within – if you don’t love yourself, it will show and play out into the world and sometimes this self sabotaging behaviour can ruin friendships and personal relationships.
In this article, I share 3 truths.
These truths have helped me to grow my self love and build my inner warrior so that I come from a place of peace and tranquility when facing the world.
These truths have come from an inner awakening and the privilege of understanding the hearts and minds of others through sincere and thoughtful conversations.
Here is how to stay strong in your skin and keep the relationship with yourself real, and energize your belief that…
YOU ARE ENOUGH!
‘Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.’-Lucille Ball
- GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
People are so hard on themselves!
This is what I have observed about my clients during my coaching conversations.
- Most have a caring heart, are still nice to others, give their time and monies to philanthropy.
- Are pillars in their community.
- Some have passions that haven’t paid off in the way they’d hoped but are still working on it thoughtfully and carefully.
- Many have even overcome hardships in their life by becoming mentors to others.
- Some are great friends, dads, moms, and loving partners.
You need to start giving yourself credit for these things – even if they are little things – especially the small things.
Sometimes the way to love ourselves is to recapture our extraordinary power and the strength within, that still believes we are worthy of more.
More appreciation for the things that are going right or the impact you’ve had.
What I have learned is that despite hardships in life, the ones that survive and thrive still believe that things can get better, and they are worthy of more.
What I have discovered is that even the tiniest of belief in your heart is enough to transform inner struggle to self love.
Appreciate your achievements, triumphs, relationships with others and give yourself credit for these things often.
Realize that nobody can do this for you.
You need to be your own inner cheerleader, which means respecting yourself fully and treating yourself with kindness by giving yourself credit often.
The book I am recommending will have staying power on your bookshelf.
It a resource that has a powerful code of conduct that can transform how you view yourself.
The book is called ‘The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz. You can purchase the book on Amazon.ca:
2. NOTICE WHEN YOU DO GOOD THINGS
‘If you can learn to love yourself and all your flaws you can love other people much better’- Kristin Chenoweth
Do not wait or rely on someone to tell you that you did a great job or that they like or appreciate you.
We need to advocate for ourselves which means generating a self awareness of the good things we do, and the choices we make are celebrated.
Try and make this a daily ritual.
The process of genuinely loving yourself takes work and consistency.
Remember to create a morning mindset, by journaling first thing when you get up.
Take out your journal and write about these situations and how you overcame them on a weekly basis:
- Did I forgive myself when I messed up this week? How?
- Did I ask for help when I needed it? How?
- Did I let go of any grudges or anger that may have been holding me back?
- Am I living in accordance with my values?
- Am I accepting of my perceived imperfections? If no, why not?
- What progress have I made this week toward accepting myself.
- Am I being kind to myself when taking on a new challenge? If no, why not?
- Was there a time this week, where I could have quit but didn’t?
- Was there a time this week, where everyone was being negative about situation, and I maintained my positivity?
- Did I notice a time this week where I was an advocate for a cause or a person?
Based on the above questions, sometimes you need to notice the small choices you don’t make -that make you a good person.
These small choices make us recognize the best of who we are, and this will help love ourselves more fully.
Let’s face it, we are not going to love every aspect of ourselves ALL of the time and this is OK.
It is OK because if we do something we don’t like in a moment, it helps us to adjust our behaviour and mindset to become better the next day.
There is an inner freedom when starting to respect yourself because you become less critical of your actions.
The goal is to connect more deeply with the best of ourselves and one way to do accomplish this is to notice and appreciate the small things we do.
3. SELF REFLECT USING NATURE AS A BACKDROP
‘Loving yourself is ultimately about self acceptance, about embracing every part of who you are and that’s never just one thing.’-Jennifer Lopez
Over the years I have discovered nature holds such incredible insight into who I am and has become precious time that I use to self reflect.
We spend so much time in the noise of life, that we may be forgetting who we are.
For me personally, to grow and ensure my mind and soul are healthy, I have made it a routine to spend time in solitude and in silence under a big tree, in the forest, or on a trail.
By spending time alone, I remember who I truly am by building a comfortable connection and relationship with myself.
Here are the things I repeat to myself while walking in nature:
- I am not my past.
- I am not my weaknesses or fears.
- I am not my false beliefs.
- I am not my insecurity, sorrow, or mistakes.
I remember who I am by telling myself that I am my own greatest advocate and friend.
Then I start to remember the goodness and creativity within me.
The more time I spend in nature, I become a stronger advocate for myself and reconnect with who I truly am.
Start the process of self love today and engage in loving practices by giving yourself a sense of stillness, giving yourself credit and noticing when you do good things.
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I sincerely wish you the best on your journey to enhance your life!
George Andreas, Founder