Have you done anything incredible in your life when your confidence levels were at their lowest?
The answer is almost always “No”.
On the other hand, think about a time when you had unbelievable energy, where you were in a positive mood and felt confident. I bet you accomplished awesome things, even if it was short lived.
Most people want to experience an emotional high, feel amazing and confident on a consistent basis.
Unfortunately, many of us feel the highs and lows or peaks and valleys in our emotional levels, daily.
This ‘emotional ride’ will not lead us to joy, love, or the fulfillment that most of us long to experience now and into the future.
As a career coach, I am often asked about techniques on how to boost confidence levels at work and in relationships.
What I share with my students and clients is that gaining and keeping confidence levels high is about your state of mind.
It is about how to change your state of mind and level of confidence in the moment, no matter what is going on around you.
The noise and distractions that are trying to pull you in and steal your energy, leave you powerless and not confident in who you are.
This article will provide the keys to building your unbreakable self confidence so you can take charge of your life.
“There’s no way in hell you’re going to have lasting success on a large scale without confidence, because without confidence you’re not going to take massive action. Massive action, learning from what doesn’t work, changing your approach until you get to where you want, is really what makes some succeed long term in any context.”
3 Ways We Sabotage Our Self Confidence:
- Self Talk impacts Our Confidence Levels:
Our communication with ourselves has a profound impact on how we feel, how we behave and ultimately how we speak up in the world.
Have you ever noticed that the voice in our head is usually negative and overly dramatic?
Not to mention nagging and destructive. In fact, this type of internalized dialogue is the root cause of your low confidence levels.
Some self sabotaging thoughts might be:
- No one appreciates how hard I work.
- I am under too much pressure, should I just quit?
- He/she doesn’t care about what I think.
- Why did I even bother to try?
- I am not educated or smart enough to apply for that job.
These limiting beliefs do not serve you. You are only feeding the beast of self destruction.
- “Energy Flows Where Attention Goes”
There are a lot of external factors that are feeding our negativity and crushing confidence levels.
- The NEWS: Do you ever wonder why most of the NEWS is negative? It is because it feeds your fears and becomes addictive. The job of the NEWS is to terrify you. Spending hours each day watching events you cannot control is toxic.
- GOSSIP: Speaking negatively or starting rumors about people, will only amplify how you speak and feel about yourself. Continue talking about someone else’s misdeeds, weaknesses or blind spots and you’ll be cementing them within your own character.
- SOCIAL MEDIA: Social platforms when used as a vehicle for self worth will only diminish your self esteem and damage your confidence levels.
- BLAME: Blaming others is giving your primal power to the people and conditions you blame.
- Our Circle of Influence Can Nourish Or Deprive Our Confidence Levels.
There are battery charges and there are battery drainers. When you surround yourself with battery drainers, you are giving away your power and this will have a direct impact on your energy levels.
LinkedIn article, “Who you surround yourself with is Who you Become” describes that one of the most important decisions you can make to help with self esteem, personal power and confidence levels is to be cautious of who you allow into your inner circle.
How to Bullet Proof Your Confidence:
- THE COOL FACTOR
Sometimes no matter how strong you are or evolve your way of thinking you can still take a hit emotionally through life or work events that are out of your control.
To equip yourself during these stages in your life is to always PROTECT and nurture your confidence.
So, when life deals you a blow, you have the tools to pick yourself up and bounce back quickly.
Sometimes, when things get stressful, or you are overcome by feelings of failure, we forget all the things we’ve done really well.
The key is to shift your mindset from your snubbing failures to thinking only about wins.
Begin journaling all the things that are ‘cool about you’. In other words, what are some fun and interesting facts you can say about yourself? This is not the same as listing your strengths, which is more competency based.
For example, some items on MY cool list are:
- I never stop learning.
- I don’t try extremely hard to impress others.
- I take interest in others.
- I am a great listener.
- I have positive energy.
- I have hobbies I care about like fishing and hiking.
- I am not judgemental
- I see the best in people.
- I know that people are doing the best they can.
- A great conversation raises my energy levels.
- I love to see the best in people.
- USE AFFIRMATIONS
What is an Affirmation?
It is a short sentence that motivates, inspires, and encourages us to take- action toward our goals and intentions.
Affirmations can become a power tool for:
- Keeping your mind focused on a goal.
- Positive statements that make you feel energetic and active.
- You can develop affirmations for any part of your life. For example, career, health, love, money and even confidence.
The result, your affirmations develop a powerful mind and body.
3 Important Elements of Successful Affirmations:
- Don’t use future or past tense: Affirmations are always in the present. For example, “I am…calm… a warrior…focused”
- Only use positive words. Words like ‘Can’t or Won’t or Don’t’ are NOT positive. For example, instead of saying ‘ I am never worried’ say instead ‘I can handle anything in calm state’.
- Speak CONFIDENTLY & WITH CONVICTION as though your affirmation is TRUE. Do NOT use words like ‘might, could or maybe’. Instead, you can say, “I am calm in all situations. Try stating “ I am calm in every situation”. Repeat it 10 times and really believe it!
How To Start Thinking About Affirmations:
In Your journal start to write a series of ‘I AM STATEMENTS’ that describe what you want to experience.
I am BRAVE
I am MOTIVATED
I am CALM
I am CAPABLE
I am FEARLESS
I am CONFIDENT
Write Your Affirmations With a Positive Outlook
Create your affirmations based on what you want, rather than what you are trying to avoid or eliminate.
For example, with an affirmation related to MONEY.
Rather than say “I am getting out of debt now”
“I am wealthy and prosperous”
When creating your affirmation, imagine that you have already accomplished your goal.
Some additional examples of affirmations related to money are:
- I conquer all my money goals.
- I deserve to make more money.
- All my needs, desires and goals are met.
Take out your journal or electronic devices. Begin writing and/or recording the following:
- Come up with 3-5 affirmations. Make them positive and in the present tense.
- It is important to carry your affirmations with you everywhere.
- Review your affirmations, read them out loud or listen to the recording on a daily basis.
Personally, I use the power of the affirmation exercise by declaring 3 words to myself everyday.
“I AM ENOUGH”
For me, these 3 words apply to most situations in my life.
I am incredibly careful and mindful about how my inner voice shapes my thinking and confidence. These words are powerful enough to shut down the negative voices in my head, that are built to eat away at my confidence levels.
Remember, the saying ‘you are what you think’, truly stems from your thoughts about yourself. Translating our thoughts into words and eventually into action will reveal our intentions.
For more information on the Impact and Importance of Affirmations, refer to the author and spiritual guide, Louise Hay. Her article called ‘The Power of Affirmations’ is a simple yet impactful read:
In addition, I recommend the following cool journal for capturing your thoughts:
Confidence: The Journal: Your Year of Positive Thinking by Katie Piper.
- BE ENGAGED IN THE MOMENT:
Confidence means being engaged in the moment by being spontaneous and free – in the moment.
Confidence is the ability to be fully present, alive, alert, and aware.
Being engaged with what is happening in the moment.
Confidence is a belief and a feeling.
What I have learned over the years is that the external world will never give you confidence.
How are you speaking to yourself in the moment?
It is this self talk that becomes the story of your identity.
It is how you master your mind in the moment that will determine your confidence level and how you show up in the world.
If you are fully present with your inner thoughts, you will be able to conquer them when they become negative.
Get your focus back through the power of affirmations and remembering what makes you cool.
In summary, you can bullet proof your confidence levels by:
- Discovering your cool factor
- Using the power of affirmations
- Being engaged in the moment
- Putting a STOP to external distractions that feed your negative thoughts.
I believe the voice in your head can slowly be transformed into a powerful weapon to raise your confidence and self esteem.
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These tools will help you grow, reach higher heights so you can become the best version of you!
I sincerely wish you the best on your journey to enhance your life!
George Andreas, Founder