‘Overcoming self doubt is all about believing we’re enough and letting go of what the world says we are supposed to be and suppose to call ourselves.’-Brene Brown
We all deal with self doubt, and as human beings, it effects us all at some point in our lives.
In fact, it seems to creep its way into our soul and somehow persuades us to play small.
It holds us back like an anchor by controlling our self talk.
Our self talk or inner villain tells us to wait for outside circumstances to happen or change before we begin to pursue our goals or dreams.
Our inner voice instills self doubt by making excuses like:
- Maybe….not now.
- When the kids are older.
- Maybe when I am older and more settled.
- When I get married or when I get divorced.
- When work slows down.
- When I feel better.
- Maybe next year when things get back to normal.
Self Doubt is a learned behaviour, and these inner villains remind us of our dark or uncomfortable past by prompting you to delay pursuing your goals or play it safe because of repeated failures or harsh judgements by others.
But, feeling like you are not good enough or not ready to pursue your goals are normal thoughts.
In fact, I think it’s difficult to completely banish the feeling self doubt from your mind.
But you can take action despite them.
The key is not to let self doubt become a habit, a thought pattern or allow it to take control of who you are and how you show up in the world.
Self doubt will grow and stick around if you surrender your power to it.
It will fester in your mind until you become aware of the doubt and take action by controlling it; so, at that moment in time – it stops.
I believe managing your self doubt is a mind game. In fact, your thought pattern of negative thinking, powerlessness and hesitation will stop the moment you take action.
If you do not control or manage it, your pattern of negative thinking will take over the second you start to doubt yourself.
The expression of self doubt is suppressed when you stop giving it a voice.
That voice is lying to you and derailing you from pursuing your dreams.
It is the perfect self sabotaging mechanism for procrastination and a lack of motivation.
It’s not that you are not capable or competent, cannot strategically learn the skills or gain the experience when pursuing a goal or completing a complicated task.
In fact, I believe that self doubt can be a trigger for you to learn and ask questions about ‘why’ this uncertainty exists at this moment in time and how you can grow from the feeling or experience.
This article will provide ideas and tools on how to CRUSH your feelings of self doubt in real-time.
To no longer give your power away by fuelling your self doubt with excuses or delaying the pursuit of your goals and dreams until perfect outside circumstances align!
‘Doubt and fear steal more dreams than failure does.’-Darren Hardy
Here are 2 big tips on managing self doubt and going after your dreams:
- TURN SELF DOUBT INTO AN OPPORTUNITY
‘Self doubt holds you back from seizing opportunities.’-Mel Robbins.
Most people view self doubt as a negative and debilitating experience.
As mentioned earlier, I believe self doubt can be seen as a valuable tool in the human experience.
About 10 years ago, I asked my mentor why she was so confident and never let outside circumstances paralyze or delay her goals.
She explained that she managed her self-doubt or uncertainty by acknowledging it and then using it as an opportunity to grow.
Instead of giving permission to her inner critic whose job it was to stop or delay her goals and dreams.
For me, this advice released the chains of self doubt because it changed how I managed myself.
Now, when I am experiencing a moment of self doubt, especially at work, I view it as a que or flag for me to learn and ask questions about why this feeling exists and I do it in real-time.
I am kind to myself by acknowledging, then being patient with it.
For example, last month, I was going into a meeting where I was not comfortable with the topic.
I believed that I lacked the knowledge to positively contribute to the conversation.
Ten minutes before the meeting started, self doubt was beginning to creep its way into my thoughts and behaviors.
When I became aware of these feelings, I turned the emotion from a negative to a positive.
I fought back when my inner critic started to take over by speaking to myself in a kind and patient manner.
I acknowledged that I didn’t know as much about the topic of the meeting as I would have liked.
I realized it was because even though the meeting was in my calendar for a week, I didn’t bother to plan to get myself educated on the meeting subject.
I could have researched the topic in advance by getting curious and planning better for the meeting.
This could have been done by approaching and asking critical stakeholders or team members about vocabulary, examples, and processes related to the topic.
I was not prepared for the meeting because I didn’t plan ahead by gaining important knowledge in advance.
This was in my control.
This lack of knowledge as a result of my poor planning is what caused by feelings of self doubt.
If you do not have a plan or map about how you will tackle a project, task, meeting, difficult conversation, or goal, you will always have self doubt.
People who have learned to crush self doubt realize they may not have the knowledge or capabilities now, but they get curious and create a plan to gain those capabilities and/or skillsets in the future.
For example, tapping into their network, reading, watching podcasts, or just asking for help.
‘Fear and Self Doubt have always been the greatest enemies of human potential.’-Brian Tracy.
My mentor shared that doubt delays or destroy your progress toward your goals, dreams and performing as a version of your highest self.
The key is to:
- Acknowledge the doubt that is bubbling up from your soul.
- Be patient and kind to yourself at that moment.
- Get curious and use it as a learning opportunity.
- Create a plan by gathering the skills, capabilities, knowledge or asking for help to prevent that feeling from happening again.
My book of the week recommendation is by author Denise Jacobs who provides tools and information on silencing the voice of self doubt. It can be purchased on Amazon using the following link:
2. VISUALIZE YOUR FUTURE
As discussed earlier, self doubt is to wait for an outside circumstance to happen that will give us permission to pursue our dreams or take ourselves to the next level.
In addition, we have our inner villains or critics reminding us of our past failures and judgement of others.
As a result, we keep delaying and/or playing it safe which is holding us back.
Another tip to combat self doubt is to visualize what you really want out of life.
I recommend the following exercise:
VISUALIZE A COMPELLING FUTURE!
What would be an amazing and/or ideal life look like 5 years from now if I took action, NOW?
Take out your journal and ask yourself these powerful questions:
- How much income do you want to be generating?
- Who would you be surrounding yourself with?
- Where would you be living?
- What would your relationship look like with your partner or spouse?
- How would you be actively engaged as a mom or dad?
- What job/career or business would you have?
- Who would you be serving in the community?
- What would you be most proud of?
When creating your compelling vision, do not think HOW you are going to get there, and do not think about what others will think about your dreams.
Instead, visualize it!
Next part of the exercise…
Visualize your future in 5 years…IF YOU DO NOTHING!
If everything remains status quo. Your thoughts, behaviours, and actions do not change.
You may continue to give your power away because you are adding fuel to your self doubt by delaying or holding yourself back from your dreams and goals.
The voice of self doubt is a liar, and it will live in you forever if you allow it to.
How many times have you missed out on opportunities because you were playing small?
Project a bigger future by managing self doubt and beat it back into the box when it emerges.
Take control by turning it into an opportunity to grow and by creating your compelling future.
Our VictoryPivot team is dedicated to providing quality content that will enhance your online knowledge and skillsets and improve your mindset to become a better version of you!
PS- Make sure to also join us on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter community: @VictoryPivot to get your daily dose of positivity!
PSS- Once you subscribe to www.victorypivot.com every Friday, VictoryPivot will provide FREE resources such as:
- Life Hacks
These tools will help you grow, reach higher heights so you can become the best version of you!
I sincerely wish you the best on your journey to enhance your life!
George Andreas, Founder