As a career coach, a question that almost always sparks deep discussion is about becoming your best self.

Clients, regardless of company, position, or tenure, believe acting from the strength of their highest self, is critical to not only grow and excel, but to establish greater connections.



This article will provide insight and strategies on how to take yourself to the next level by serving others and bringing joy to every relationship or encounter.

The goal of striving for achievement is to create the lifestyle we dream of and to grow to be the person we are capable and destined to become.

Most of us who make professional development and growth part of our identify understand that…

  • It’s not about having more, it’s about being more, feeling more and living more.
  • It’s not about living in the past. It’s about what you do today to transform into who you want to be.

“You can’t get to your best self, clinging to who you were yesterday”-Robin Sharma

I believe there are 2 pillars to achievement when beginning or continuing the journey to fulfillment and showing up as your highest self.

  1. Finding and leaning into your purpose
  2. Living with intention


I discuss Finding Your Purpose in more detail in a previous article: ‘

The 5 Most Important Questions to ask Yourself to Reveal your Life’s Purpose’

Your purpose is tied to your identity and your uniqueness.

My advice is to find or look for the trigger or clue that makes you become fully alive when you are doing that ‘thing/task’ or when you are ‘experiencing that connection’ with someone else.

Do you experience vibrancy or increased energy when you are leaning into your uniqueness or your strengths?

If you have discovered a skillset, a competency or piece of knowledge, you need to share this – you need to amplify your gifts because this is what makes you fully alive and vibrant!

When we are fully alive and living into our purpose, we will  radiate life into others with our gifts.


Start by journaling daily answers to these powerful questions to evaluate your life…

  • Did I live today fully and joyously by being my true and highest self?
  • Did I invest my time in meaningful activities that made a real difference today?
  • What am I excited about today? Why?

Remember that your life’s purpose is up to you.

There are no hard and fast rules on the number of words or length of your purpose statement. This is your personal journey, and your purpose is tied to your identity.

Therefore, the path to finding your purpose should not be a stressful or worrisome activity. Rather it should be something that inspires and motivates you to discover who you are and why you are here.

It is a powerful experience!

Also consider that as you gain more experience in your life (wins and losses, pain, and happiness) your purpose may change or need to be adjusted.

This is OK and should be expected.

On a personal note, I can always sense when someone is aligned with their purpose and understand who they are.

It’s because they have energy and are engaged with each interaction. You can sense a connection when they share their gifts in an authentic way, and they inspire others to act!

And finally, they are intentional with their relationships.

Another interesting discussion with my clients that connects with leaning into your highest self,  is the topic of INFLUENCE.

Specifically, how to gain more influence at work with colleagues and with personal relationships.

I believe that people are influenced most by those they trust, admire, and believe CARE for them.

People want to be heard – they want a voice. Therefore, someone who is present and engaged with their loved one, team or colleague will heighten feelings of TRUST.

This means getting into their world and understanding who they are. This can be mastered by asking thoughtful questions, having a curious mind, and not being distracted.

The following article from Entrepreneur by Meiko Patton:

‘7 Scientifically Proven Steps to Increase Your Influence’ explains about being more emotionally curious and vulnerable.

People who have influence are also admired. This is more than their contributions or public successes.


  • How much of your life are you living as a role model?
  • Are you living your truth or just a carbon copy of what people want you to be?
  • Are you the person who inspires or brings people down?
  • Are you intentionally demonstrating a sense of caring in your relationships? To your team? To your peers?

Therefore, those who have influence are those who are living with intention.


In order to lean into your highest self, being intentional with your relationships is critical.


Journal answers to the following questions to understand your intentionality with people:

  1. Am I interacting with a higher art of excellence and consistency?
  2. Does my energy and attitude align with my dreams and my purpose?
  3. Was I engaged in the present moment with all my interactions today?

Living with intention means being fully present, alive, alert, and aware during your daily interactions.

In other words, you are engaged with what is happening around you.

Living with intention is a choice and others can feel it when you are energized and feel valued in your presence.

Author and Leadership Coach, John Maxwell’s book:

‘Intentional Living: Choosing a Life That Matters’, explains a personal path to a life that matters

Being intentional with our relationships can be difficult from a consistency perspective.

How do I Put Intentionality into Practice?


I use this exercise with my clients to help put intentionality at the forefront with people and relationships:

1.THOSE THAT I LOVE (i.e., spouse, children, niece, nephew, parents)

QUESTION: What are 3 words I could use to connect with this person?

These 3 words should become the standard and force a trigger that guides my next set of behaviours. My behaviour toward this person will set my intentionality.

For Example, My Spouse.

When I pull my car into the driveway after work and my spouse/partner is in the house, I will take control of my behaviour by setting an intention.

I will think about the 3 words I chose to drive my demeanor and behaviour when I walk into the house.

My three words could be:

  • Kindness
  • Actively Listen
  • Positive Energy

Instead of:

  • Complaining about my day.
  • Gossiping
  • Fostering negative energy

2.THOSE I LEAD (i.e., my team at work)

QUESTION: What are the 3 words I could use to connect with my team?

What is my intention for the people I am leading?

What guiding words are going to dictate how the discussion or meeting will go today?

For Example: My Team

A monthly virtual team meeting where I am the facilitator.

At the start and throughout the meeting, how am I am going to show up?

I will take control of my behaviour by setting an intention.

I will think about the 3 words I chose to drive my demeanor and behaviour when I enter the meeting.

My three words could be:

  • Positive Energy
  • Be Inspiring
  • Listen Thoughtfully

Instead of:

  • Complaining about the business
  • Taking Control of the discussion
  • Fostering negative energy

Perform the same exercise with the following people/groups:

  1. THOSE THAT I SUPPORT (i.e., my boss)
  2. THOSE I SERVE (i.e., members)
  3. THOSE I MEET (i.e., new acquaintances)

Again, what are the 3 words that will set the behaviour and guide your intentions during each interaction.

You could use the same 3 words for all of you interactions or have different sets of words. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that these chosen words, trigger the behaviour of intention.

This exercise will help you to not only gain influence but bring your highest self to all your interactions.

In summary, I believe that striving to become your best self can be mastered.

But, as with any master, they are always growing and perfecting their craft.

Remember there are 2 pillars to achievement:


Start today by journaling answers to the question:

  • Did I love others and live through my heart?
  • How did my influence affect my loved ones and/or team today?
  • Was I intentional with my relationships today?

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I look forward to working and guiding you ,on your journey to enhance your life and become the best version of you!

Louise Mazzotta, Career Coach at

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